WEIRD NEWS

Alien Fossils! Found ‘em!
Scientists in the United Kingdom are making a remarkable claim — that fragments of a meteorite that fell in Sri Lanka last December contain fossils that include biological properties — in other words — fossils of alien life from other worlds! If true the discovery would also reinforce the theory known as panspermia — a concept that life spreads across the known universe with the help of comets or meteorites. Early criticism of the fossils originating in outer space included the possibility that the rock was merely terrestrial-based and might have been struck by lightning, causing unusual changes in its structure. There was also the possibility that the rock had somehow been contaminated after it struck the ground. But according to the scientific team — led by Chandra Wickramasinghe of the Buckingham Center for Astrobiology and Jamie Wallis of Cardiff University — “Preliminary inspection of a few of the SEM images revealed the presence of a number of highly carbonaceous biological structures.” If the British team’s claims are correct, then it would turn out to be a discovery of galactic proportions. Literally! (Huffington Post)

Papal Priorities
When you’re elected as the new pope — there’s a lot of stuff you’ve got to do. Address the faithful, get fitted for that new ring, and of course register your new domains on the internet! According to GoDaddy.com Public Relations Specialist Kari Amarosso, 479 new domains were registered in relation to the pope within the first hour of the announcement of Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio as Pope Francis I. Strangely enough, a domain under the name of PopeFrancis.com was already registered in April 2010. Keywords that were to identify the new domains were pope, Francis, Bergoglio, and Habemus Papam. (KTAR News)

You Broke My Heart So I Sold Your Favorite Stuff!
In White Rock, Vancouver, one angry wife got back at her cheating husband– by holding a yard sale to sell his most prized possessions while he was away on an adulterous rendezvous weekend with his mistress! The sale was advertised on Craigslist and it read: “Husband left us for a piece of trash, selling everything while he is gone this weekend with his floozie!” Items up for grabs included the husband’s favorite red leather reclining chair and “lots of tools he didn’t have a clue how to use”. The ad continued: “I want the house empty on Monday when he returns because that will be a shock for him to see. She also wrote: “Don’t come too early (like he did) because I will be thoroughly enjoying some wine with my girlfriends this evening as we clean out all this stuff and likely be nursing hangovers in the morning. So please speak softly to the ladies wearing the sunglasses.” And the ad discouraged clothes-buyers, “as we will have already burned those in the driveway,” but it did offer to let visitors see the pile of ashes. (Ananova)

Apparently German Police Officers Are Not That Bright!
There’s at least one embarrassed traffic cop in Aachen, Germany. Pranksters there created a full-sized snow sculpture of a Volkswagen Beetle — and built it in a no parking zone. It was complete with outlines for its headlights, windshields and even the distinctive VW badge on the hood. In fact, it looked so realistic, a police officer started to write a ticket for the “vehicle.” But he discovered he’d been had when he tried to scrape the snow off the number plate and found there was nothing but snow. A police spokesman said: “We can take a joke as well as the next person and it was a very convincing prank. But whether it was made of metal or snow it was still obstructing a road that should have been clear.” (Ananova)

Bank Robbery: A Family Affair!
Police in Tooele, Utah have arrested a husband and wife bank robbery team that took their two kids along for the big event! A man and woman, both 27, were caught soon after a Wells Fargo branch was robbed. A 5-year-old and a 2-year-old were in the back seat of their getaway car. According to The Salt Lake Tribune, the couple told police they robbed the bank because they faced eviction and growing medical bills. Employees told police the woman entered the bank and showed the teller a note demanding money. She allegedly then ran from the bank to the car, which was driven by the man. After searching the couple’s vehicle, police found the demand note, along with hundreds of dollars in cash. (The Salt Lake Tribune)

I’m Lovin’ Me Some Lovin’ At Mickey D’s?
McDonald’s is being sued by a woman who said her two-year-old son ate a used condom he found in the play area of one of its restaurants in Chicago. Anishi Spencer filed the complaint against the fast-food giant in Cook County Circuit Court on behalf of herself and her sons, Jonathan Hines and Jacquel Hines. According to the complaint, the Spencers were at a McDonald’s restaurant in Chicago’s South Side on February 4, 2012 when Jacquel picked up the used condom from the floor, and shortly thereafter coughed up a piece of it. Both boys required medical care, and have suffered lasting injuries, pain and discomfort, according to the complaint. Spencer accused McDonald’s of negligence for failing to clean hazardous debris from the play area, and failing to use appropriate security measures to help uncover “deviant activities.” Somewhat surprisingly, she’s only seeking $50,000 in damages. Her attorney, Jeffrey Deutschman said, “This is a very disgusting case.” Well Jeff — can’t argue with you there! (Reuters)

Arrogant Italian Catholics!
Talk about some religious ego! Italian bishops were so convinced that one of their own would become pope that they sent a congratulatory message to the media thanking God for the election of a pope from Milan. Of course, as you now know, it didn’t quite work out that way as Argentinean cardinal Jorge Bergoglio got the nod. The secretary-general of the Italian conference, Monsignor Mariano Crociata, expressed “joy and thanks” to God for the election of Cardinal Angelo Scola of Milan in a statement sent to reporters Wednesday afternoon. Unfortunately for him, about 10 minutes earlier, Bergoglio had made his first appearance before the crowds in St. Peter’s Square. About 15 minutes later, the Italian bishops conference sent another statement thanking God for the election of the pope, but this time got the name right. In the days leading up the secret conclave, many Italian newspapers openly promoted Scola as the next pope. (Reuters)